The wobbly-kneed, whistler is in Mallorca

Damm that Gerard Pique. For years now I've been wanting to get a blazer as worn by Patrick McGoohan in The Prisoner and now there he is on the front cover of El Mundo Deportivo wearing one. I mean isn't he happy enough with being one of the best centre-halves in the world, tall, rich and famous and going out with that famous belly dancer?

So Barça are in Mallorca without Valdés, Alves, Puyol and Xavi? They will surely miss the runs of Wolverine, the thunder of Thor and the mind of Charles Xavier (yeah I know the Barça Xavi is slightly more mobile). Valdés as a superhero? Oh yes, the human torch, you know, the cocky one. Anyway, look at the starting line-up - Pinto, Adriano, Shakira's bloke, Abidal, Maxwell; Keita, Busquets and the Silver Surfer (Happy Feet Iniesta); Villa, Pedro and that Argentinian chap. That should be good enough, shouldn't it?

For Mallorca, look out for De Guzman and Nsue in midfield. Both very impressive in their last home game, a solid 1-0 win over Athletic Club Bilbao. They will be ably led by Mr. Mallorca himself, the Portuguese centre-half Nunes.

Big week for Barcelona as they face Valencia away on Wednesday night (2200hrs) and Zaragoza at home next Saturday (2000hrs - much better k.o. time). Dani Alves will be back from suspension and Captain Puyol is on the point of a return. Tonight Cules can expect to suffer until the first goal goes in.

Prediction - Mallorca 1-3 FCB

Crisis? What Crisis?

The lions of Bilbao are in Barcelona this evening amid mumbles from the dreamers amongst the Men in White followers of a possible crisis in the FCB camp. Wait a minute are we talking about the team who have lost 1 match in the league while scoring 71 goals in 23 games, the team who are in the Spanish Cup final and the team a goal away from the last 16 of the Champions?

It is their own fault you know. Having treated us to several months' of some of the sexiest football ever seen we have come to see a Barça win as normal as the sun rising every day. All that has happened over the last week is that Sporting Gijon played out of their skins and Arsenal had a magic 5 minutes in the Emirates. All this talk of a possible crisis may just come from having to fill 4 national sports newspapers every day. Of course the referee is normally at fault as pointed out in one of the Catalan sports papers on Thursday when a journalist complained about an involuntary handball that could have been a penalty. Excuse me?

Tonight FCB will field their strongest team minus the injured Carles Puyol (vital that he is back for Arsenal's visit on 8th March with Piqué out) and maybe resting one player. I would bet on Mascherano coming in for Sergio Busquets. Leo Messi will play his 250th game in FCB colours and look for goal number 168 which would be his 41st of the season. David Villa has scored in both of the last games and will look for a kind of hat-trick whilst Xavi and Iniesta are expected to be on top form with Andres recovered from a recent knock. I think you will be able to smell the hunger of Pep's gladiators form the off.

Joaquin Caparrós, now in his 4th season in the Basque country, will be without San José and Pablo Orbaiz, but back come Atheltic's tough guys Gurpegi and Amorebieta (subtle wine, but not so subtle tackler). Athletic Club will be buoyed by the 0-0 draw here in the cup this season, but as Joaquin said they will need a combination of hard work and luck to repeat that success. Doubtful that both Llorente and Toquero will start the game for a team currently 5th in the league, but who were pretty short of ideas when losing 1-0 in Mallorca last Monday.

So buy your popcorn and coke, sit back and enjoy as the Dream Machine slips back into gear at the Camp Nou tonight.

Prediction: FCB 3-1 Athletic Club

Match of the round - Arsenela v Pepcelona

When the draw was made many of us looked at it as an "easy" draw for the sexiest team in the world and still FC Barcelona go into this game as odds-on favourites. However, take a look at the Arsenal Fans' forum and although noone has forgotten last season's ties, especially the first half at the Emirates and the post-Arsenal goal at the Camp Nou performances, there is a feeling that Arsène's boys can at least go to the Camp Nou without the tie being over. Reasons for them to believe:

i) The form of Van Persie (10 goals in the last 8 games). Maybe a little extra motivation after losing the World Cup Final to Barça mark 2?

ii) The return of Samir Nasri. Due to be out for 21 days, but back early and, hopefully for the Gunners' fans, rested after missing last week's international duties as well as his club matches.

iii) The 1,95cm, 20-year-old goalkeeper, Szczesny, has only played 6 league games for Arsenal and makes his debut in the CL. That said, he has only let in 9 goals this season and has just made his debut for the full Poland team.

iv) It may sound strange, but seeing the North London rivals beat Milan last night will have made many fans think that if Spurs can beat the Italian giants why can't the Arse topple the Spanish ones?

OK. Now back to reality:

i) FCB have only lost one meaningful game all season. And last Saturday's draw at Sporting Gijon will only help preparation for Pep Guardiola.

ii) They only have the one missing first-team regular in Carles Puyol. He was sorely missed at the weekend, but Abidal has been one of the players of the season so far, paticualrly in that position.

iii) They will not be alone. Apart from the official travelling Barça fans expect hundreds more who have made their own way to the stadium including Nick De Bruxelles and the various Penyas Blaugrana of the UK (See PB London flag above, thanks Jason).

iv) Amongst Pep's many skills, games analysis, tactical flxeibility, bravery, etc. possibly his strongest point is getting his players to just the right level of motivation. Is he really going to let them forget going out to Inter in the semis last season and that this year they have a chance to return to Wembley?

Predictions:

Everybody who likes football WILL watch this game.

Arsenal 1-3 FCB

2-4-6-8 ? FCB v ATM

Saturday Night Fever in the Camp Nou as FCB entertain ATM in what promises to be a goal feast. The last 2 matches here between these two yielded 6-1 and 5-2 victories for FC Barcelona. Then who could forget the Cup match in the 1996/97 season where Atletico went in at half-tine 0-3 up (the first leg having been 2-2 in the Calderon), Ronaldo brought Barça back to 2-3, but Pantic got his fourth of the evening to make it 2-4 ? I remember being in a bar in Mataro with an American friend of mine, Ernie, and him asking me what the chances of a comeback were and me saying impossible. However, Figo, Ronaldo and Pizzi made it an incredible 5-4!

Times are hard for the Atletico fans though. Last season they celebrated winning the Europa League (their first silverware since the 95-96 double) and the European Super Cup over Benitez's Inter Milan, but this season normal service has been resumed for the long-suffering matress boys. Being knocked out of the cup by Real Madrid finally broke any sign of a bond between players, manager and fans. Looking at their forums the great majority are settling for a defeat less than 5-0 and the fact that winning at the Camp Nou would only help the Men in White anyway. During the transfer window Diego Forlan was probably the player in European football who most wanted to be rescued. The WC Golden Ball winner has joined Raul Garcia at the top of the boo boys' lists for the lack of goals and indeed the lack of alegria in his game. Even Filipe Luis, the player both Barça and Real Madrid wanted, has been affected by the negative vibe wafting around the club.

Puyol apart, Jeffren is also injured, expect the gala 11 of Valdés, Maxwell, Abidal (excellent in the centre-half role), Piqué, Alves, Iniesta, Busquets, Xavi, Villa, Pedro & Messi. The win will put FCB 10 points ahead of Real Madrid who face a Real Sociedad tomorrow that normally shouldn't pose a threat, but with CR7 off form and the team struggling to score, who knows? Difficult to get motivated when everyone in the country, except kids who still wait up for Father Christmas, believes FCB have got the league title in the bag.

When Barça win tonight it will be a record-breaking 16 league wins on the trot, this beating Alfred di Stefano's Real Madrid's 1960/61 run.

Prediction:

FCB 6-1 Atletico Madrid

p.s. Yes, it's the Tom Robinson Band.